We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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