Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
