my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
