oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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