Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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