I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
