We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
