That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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