Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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