I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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