i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
