I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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