You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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