I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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