If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
