My room smells like vodka and shame
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
we should paint friendship bongs
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
