could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
