Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
