90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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