guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
