I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize