I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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