if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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