): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
