plz talk dirty to me
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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