Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My hand turned me down
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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