Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
