its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
