Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drink are we having for lunch?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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