I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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