so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My dick has a subreddit
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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