These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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