office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You smell like stripper and shame
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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