Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
