hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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