i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
