Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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