That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
