guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
