At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
