Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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