Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
