Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
