I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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