What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
