yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize