Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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