And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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