i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
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i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
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Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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