I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
