I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
worst night to have a conscience
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
