I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
