i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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