And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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