my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
