for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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