Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
