I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
