he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
