just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
