I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
